Overwhelmed and feel like a failure, please help!?

Everything you mentioned, I know exactly what you're going through! I don't have twins but I have two kids that were 2 years old once...and, I remember what it was like! There are no perfect moms out there. Truth is, a lot of them probably feel the same way. Honestly, I think eventually you will learn to not care as much anymore. I also know what you're going through with the pain pills. Please believe me but, the energy you get now, goes away after taking them for a while. I've been on them for over a year, and I do not get that "energy boost" anymore. Also, my aunt has DDD, she doesnt have any kids to take care of, but I see the imense pain she goes through everyday, and I cant imagine what its like for you with young kids having to bend over to pick up after them and whatnot. My aunt can barely get out of bed. Please try taking them as prescribed before you get to the point where your ping out, because if not, I guarantee that will happen. As for your husband I can relate. I am not with my kids father anymore. He doesnt see them a whole lot either. Or, try going to therapy, and getting some anti depressants. Alot of people talk bad about them, but they really do help. I was on them, and it just seemed like everything that used to piss me off, just rolled right off my back. Plus, it will give you a reason to get out of the house, and away from the kids for a while! I think I have it set to where you can write me an email. So if you dont have anyone to really relate to, dont hesitate to write me. I can listen, and give you advice if needed. Just having someone to talk to really helps alot sometimes.